joebidensbignaturals:

eatpussypraylove:

Favorite adderall review

(via foleoes)

memewhore:

(via readmypostsinaradiovoiceplease)

memorycycle:

memorycycle:

u9nu50aubmq8avfsfgyzotdlbniugmaj:

memorycycle:

my first executive order as pesident is to change our currency to jelly beans but only the fucked up joke flavors. my second order is to crucify myself on tv immediately after

I would like to order a hamburger

would you like some frice with that

some fuckingg frents frice?

(via foleoes)

captain-price-officially:

captain-price-officially:

(via joshpeck)

(via readmypostsinaradiovoiceplease)

confusionofconfusions-deactivat:

confusionofconfusions-deactivat:

Boris won’t stop annoying me for dinner even though dinner is in 40 minutes so I’m trying to teach Boris when to expect dinner using base-bean

sulking

(via carpinchito)

westmeath:

kittenchomp:

hears someone pounding at my door immediately before receiving this message

(via carpinchito)

gemstone-gynoid:

kookiyu:

kookiyu:

i dont miss overwatch but i miss the psychosexual dynamics of playing mercy or whatever like. getting to briefly exist in the body of The blender porn girl you know

playing mercy and just thinking wow everybody in this match wants to fuck me

Playing pyro in tf2 is still like this

(via husband)

optimalmongoose4:

writana:

yesterday my roommate got mad at me because i saw him eating kit-kats and said “oh, so you’re a little kit-kat boy, are you?” and then i had a dream about him killing me

That was his psychic attack

(via sorrowpod)

ladyshinga:

touching grass is not enough i must psychically connect to a mushroom colony

(via joshpeck)

fagm77 asked:

are wizards microwave safe?

wizardsisananimal:

the wizard will be fine

Anonymous asked:

Why are you dating someone who can't afford food and has to steal? Have some standards.

normal-horoscopes:

Dick is insane next question